Abby’s Road was the lead feature in this month’s Mt Vernon Now magazine for January 2015! Thanks to Robbie Edwards for a wonderful article! I transcribed the article below. Any typos are MINE, not hers! Enjoy!
An Open Heart
By Robbie Edwards
The heartbreak of wanting a child desperately but not being able to conceive is a feeling Michael and Esther Curry know well.
So is the joy and abundant love of a child.
“We wanted a third or fourth person to love,” said Michael Curry. “We had so much love for each other we wanted it to spill over to someone else. Two people so in love was so wonderful – imagine three or four or more.”
For years, the coupe continued to hope, even through the biological clock was ticking and the couple were unable to conceive.
“Infertility treatments weren’t working and we gave ourselves until age forty to try to make it work,” Curry explained. “It didn’t. So for a few years we put the idea of a family aside.”
On Jan. 3, 2009, the couple decided to look into adoption.
“We should have considered adoption from the beginning,” Curry said. “I think everyone should. Remember the old saying, ‘your spouse is the only member of your family that you get to pick’? You get to pick through adoption, too. I think people make a mistake trying only infertility treatments. They should seriously consider adoption or fostering a child too.”
The couple began doing research and looking for the agency they wanted to use and soon decided on the Adoption Law Center out of California.
The adoption process continued with filling our paperwork, submitting photos and competing mini-biographies to build a page for birth mothers to browse.
Curry said one of the rules when it came to what photos could be used is that the photo needed to be less than one year old.
The photo the couple wanted to use was about three years old.
“Our friends renewed their vows for their 20th anniversary in a renaissance-themed ceremony,” Curry said. “We dressed in renaissance outfits for the wedding and took a lovely picture in front of a castle at Boo Rothman Park south of Carbondale. The agency said the photo was fine and they would include it.”
Curry said after the profile site was made, the two hopeful parents began weeding though the long process of ”red tape” that Illinois requires to be adoptive parents.
“You have to become licensed foster parents to adopt in Illinois,” Curry explained. In addition, there are fees, inspections, background checks and forms to be complete.
“We were selected by a birth mother in June and we talked to her on the phone,” Curry said. “She lived in Massapequa, New York and her baby was due on September 23, 2010.”
Curry said the birthmother selected them because of the renaissance photograph – which in the beginning was not even supposed to be used.
“She loved reading stories and listening to music of that era and that attracted her to us,” Curry said. “She picked us because of the photograph we weren’t supposed to use because it was over a year old. But they allowed the photo anyway and that was the reason she picked us.”
The agency contacted the Currys in mid-September informed them the birthmother was in labor and they should make plans to come to Long Island, N.Y.
The excited soon-to-be parents set off to meet their new baby girl – only to find out there was a bump in the road
“It was a false labor. She didn’t have the baby that weekend,” Curry said. “There was another false alarm that Sunday. Thursday was the due date. Her doctor decided to push back the due date to October 1st. What could we do? A flight back would cost more than staying the next eight days. We didn’t want to visit New York City or any sights that would take us hours to get back in case the baby was born early.”
Esther Curry said the actual adoption process seemed to go quick, but witing due to the false alarms is what seemed to take a long time.
“We got to see her on the second and she was given to us on the third to take back to our motel,” Michael Curry remembered. “It took the rest of the week for the Interstate Compact to be approved between New York and Illinois and we took her home over Columbus Day weekend.”
The Currys’ newborn changed their lives as it does for most anyone with a new addition to the family.
“We knew what to expect and prepare for it, but nothing really prepares you,” Curry said. “You expect to be up every two hours for feeding and changing. You expect to plan ahead like Eisenhower on D-Day just to go out to dinner and a movie. But to actually go through it… “
Abby is five years old now and is a little person on her own.
“One of my secretaries asked if she was a girly-girl and she certainly is! She loves to dress up in pink and purple. She loves to draw and dance and sing.:
Curry said he and his wife have had a lot of fun watching her grow and seeing how her mind develops.
Curry said Abby has even discovered her own sense of humor.
“Recently she said Robin Hood and Little Red Riding Hood must be related since they have the same last name,” Curry said. “We decided they are cousins.”
Curry said adoption or becoming foster parents is as big a decision as having a baby and not something to take lightly.
“This isn’t a whim. This will change your life forever – not to mention the life of the child,” Curry said.
Curry has written a book about the couple’s experiences with infertility and adoption, “Abby’s Road, the Long and Winding Road to Adoption and how Facebook, Aquaman and Theodore Roosevelt helped!”
The book uses humor from the perspective of Michael Curry – a self-proclaimed nerdy father and his wife. The book was winner of an honorable mention at the 2014 Great Midwest Book Festival.
This article copyright its respective holder or holders…
“Abby’s Road, the Long and Winding Road to Adoption and how Facebook, Aquaman and Theodore Roosevelt Helped” leads a couple through their days of infertility treatments and adoption. It is told with gentle (and sometimes not-so-gentle) humor from the perspective of a nerdy father and his loving and understanding wife.
Join Mike and Esther as they go through IUIs and IFVs, as they search for an adoption agency, are selected by a birth mother, prepare their house, prepare their family, prepare themselves and wait for their daughter to be born a thousand miles from home.
Winner, Honorable Mention, 2014, Great Midwest Book Festival
Abby’s Road is available at Amazon here: http://www.amazon.com/Abbys-Road-Long-Winding-Adoption/product-reviews/0692221530/ref=cm_cr_pr_top_recent?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending
at Barnes and Noble here: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/abbys-road-the-long-and-winding-road-to-adoption-and-how-facebook-aquaman-and-theodore-roosevelt-helped-michael-curry/1119971924?ean=9780692221532
and at Smashwords here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/457270